Monday, May 23, 2005
Sports, Parenting and The Gospel; Part 1
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My husband, Tommy, and I enjoy watching the NBA playoffs together every spring for several reasons. 1 - Tommy and I are competitive by nature. 2 - Four of the last three playoff seasons I have either just had a baby or was ill with pregnancy fatigue and nausea, making the nearly nightly games a welcome entertainment and easy "date" opportunity for evenings spent frequently nursing or too tired and nauseated to do anything else. 3 - As John Piper says, when the ball swooshes for a buzzer beating 3-pointer to win the game, the glory of that moment tells us something about the glory of God and the victory of Christ. We love to watch a good game that makes us remember there is something glorious in life worth fighting for.
This playoff season, my, I mean our, team was again shut out before the Finals. Alas, even before the Western Finals. In angst, I pondered what again went wrong? The skills are present but whenever the pressure mounts, our team seems to melt and fall apart. Having once been an avid pop-psych reader and outdoor adventurist, I have read a bit about a concept called "flow"; The mental ability to immerse oneself in an activity to the extent of loosing self consciousness. Not loosing consciousness, but awareness of your self doing something. In flow you are just aware of the something you are doing without the third-person analysis of yourself doing it. Such flow is necessary for excellence in sport and music and art, where you must be wholly absorbed in your pursuit. I would also say it is part of satisfying prayer.
Back to my team, I mean our team. So I observed this year again, that when the pressure mounts, our team dies out in the fourth quarter. They loose their flow and in self-consciousness begin to play like high schoolers. Missing shots, turning the ball over, poor decisions, etc... A major key to flow, as far as I have observed, is confidence. When you begin to second guess yourself at all, the flow is gone. When you think about yourself shooting the ball instead of only having awareness of shooting the ball, you loose 'flow'.
I will not spend more time describing what is difficult to describe, but anyone who has experienced flow knows what it is. Anyone who had any kind of normal childhood should know the joy of loosing yourself in a creative activity. And don't let anyone tell you sports aren't creative! As an aside, this is part of why drugs are so addicting and attractive. They take us away from the self-consciousness that so easily plagues adult life and quickly into the joy and peace and excitement of 'flow', albeit a dangerous, artificial, induced, unhealthy flow.
As I watched my team 'lose it' and clearly move from the flow of the game to the air ball shooting self-conscious play of pressure, I recognized myself. My own greatest weakness in most sports hasn't been a lack talent (in the sports I have tried, I am sure talent is an issue in some sports!), but damned self-consciousness and irrational lack of confidence. For years I rode show jumpers (horses) and there is nothing like a living animal to smell even a whiff of fear or hesitation and then solidly plant you upside down on top of a 4' wooden jump. I am all too familiar with the smell of hesitation and self-doubt.
It has been years now since I have had the fun of playing a sport. However, in my recent life the odors of self-conscious hesitation most often pour forth during discipline with my 3 year old. Parenting has certainly humbled me and given my self-confidence a rattle. Parenting should be like college, right? Study hard, research thoroughly, produce a good paper and count on an A+, right? So with the assignment of parenting, I was ready to study, prepare and execute. I expected the immediate gratification of an A plus, (great behavior and attitude out of my childre at an early age of course) There is a perfect way to discipline my children and ensure an A at this parenting thing, right? I read at least 4 books about it. Surely if Jesus were here, He would discipline them perfectly, right?
So as I face my ridiculously tantruming 3 year old in the middle of the grocery store with a half-full cart, I think, "What would Jesus do?" Surely He wouldn't give in and get her another doughnut would he? Would he go paddle her backside in the car? What is the right thing to do? And the pressure of the situation, with all eyes and ears in the store glaring, and the weight of my child's upbringing, character and maybe even salvation potentially on the line, I hesitate. I deliberate, I doubt, I second guess. And now, great, I have made it worse by not being decisive! NOW what would Jesus do? And where the hell are the pinto beans? Oh, great, Jesus wouldn't be in this situation, because He would never hesitate! He would never secretly curse in His head! Now I have made everything worse. I am in a dilemma that Jesus would never be in in the first place! Where "what would Jesus do" doesn't apply! I guess now every shot attempt at discipline will just be an automatic airball or rim-bouncer at best. I already missed the buzzer on this one, eh?
Well, the baby needs fed. Part 2 to arrive soon.
This playoff season, my, I mean our, team was again shut out before the Finals. Alas, even before the Western Finals. In angst, I pondered what again went wrong? The skills are present but whenever the pressure mounts, our team seems to melt and fall apart. Having once been an avid pop-psych reader and outdoor adventurist, I have read a bit about a concept called "flow"; The mental ability to immerse oneself in an activity to the extent of loosing self consciousness. Not loosing consciousness, but awareness of your self doing something. In flow you are just aware of the something you are doing without the third-person analysis of yourself doing it. Such flow is necessary for excellence in sport and music and art, where you must be wholly absorbed in your pursuit. I would also say it is part of satisfying prayer.
Back to my team, I mean our team. So I observed this year again, that when the pressure mounts, our team dies out in the fourth quarter. They loose their flow and in self-consciousness begin to play like high schoolers. Missing shots, turning the ball over, poor decisions, etc... A major key to flow, as far as I have observed, is confidence. When you begin to second guess yourself at all, the flow is gone. When you think about yourself shooting the ball instead of only having awareness of shooting the ball, you loose 'flow'.
I will not spend more time describing what is difficult to describe, but anyone who has experienced flow knows what it is. Anyone who had any kind of normal childhood should know the joy of loosing yourself in a creative activity. And don't let anyone tell you sports aren't creative! As an aside, this is part of why drugs are so addicting and attractive. They take us away from the self-consciousness that so easily plagues adult life and quickly into the joy and peace and excitement of 'flow', albeit a dangerous, artificial, induced, unhealthy flow.
As I watched my team 'lose it' and clearly move from the flow of the game to the air ball shooting self-conscious play of pressure, I recognized myself. My own greatest weakness in most sports hasn't been a lack talent (in the sports I have tried, I am sure talent is an issue in some sports!), but damned self-consciousness and irrational lack of confidence. For years I rode show jumpers (horses) and there is nothing like a living animal to smell even a whiff of fear or hesitation and then solidly plant you upside down on top of a 4' wooden jump. I am all too familiar with the smell of hesitation and self-doubt.
It has been years now since I have had the fun of playing a sport. However, in my recent life the odors of self-conscious hesitation most often pour forth during discipline with my 3 year old. Parenting has certainly humbled me and given my self-confidence a rattle. Parenting should be like college, right? Study hard, research thoroughly, produce a good paper and count on an A+, right? So with the assignment of parenting, I was ready to study, prepare and execute. I expected the immediate gratification of an A plus, (great behavior and attitude out of my childre at an early age of course) There is a perfect way to discipline my children and ensure an A at this parenting thing, right? I read at least 4 books about it. Surely if Jesus were here, He would discipline them perfectly, right?
So as I face my ridiculously tantruming 3 year old in the middle of the grocery store with a half-full cart, I think, "What would Jesus do?" Surely He wouldn't give in and get her another doughnut would he? Would he go paddle her backside in the car? What is the right thing to do? And the pressure of the situation, with all eyes and ears in the store glaring, and the weight of my child's upbringing, character and maybe even salvation potentially on the line, I hesitate. I deliberate, I doubt, I second guess. And now, great, I have made it worse by not being decisive! NOW what would Jesus do? And where the hell are the pinto beans? Oh, great, Jesus wouldn't be in this situation, because He would never hesitate! He would never secretly curse in His head! Now I have made everything worse. I am in a dilemma that Jesus would never be in in the first place! Where "what would Jesus do" doesn't apply! I guess now every shot attempt at discipline will just be an automatic airball or rim-bouncer at best. I already missed the buzzer on this one, eh?
Well, the baby needs fed. Part 2 to arrive soon.
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