Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Family Planning IV
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If you have not read FP instalment III, please read pretty much all of 1 Cor. 7 before journeying with me further!
It is obvious in this passage that Paul prefers the unmarried state to the married. I believe this is Paul's prefrence and not a mandate against marriage or a ranking of it as a 2nd class choice. Verses 6-7 seem to establish that he speaks out of his own personal calling and not as a commandment from the Lord. He is clear that it is not sin to marry. The contrary is assumed as well; it is not sin to stay single. It is not wrong for a woman to choose to focus on ministry, on harvesting the ripe fields of the nations with the Gospel of peace, instead of marriage which would include child bearing. Not only is it "not wrong" the Lord's apostle prefers it! If the Kingdom established by Christ, which we believers are now living in and to which we are called to serve, was expanded primarily through childbirth, Paul could not write this!
Paul states that he thinks it is preferable for the kingdom, for "the things of the Lord" (v. 34), to stay single and NOT have children. Yet he is clear in v. 7 that not everyone is called to singleness or given the grace to live it out, IOW gifted thus. So given the plain statements of Paul, I see to legitimate options for Christians thus far: 1 - Stay single and do NOT have any children. 2 - Get married and have as many children as God would give you. It is perposterous to my mind, to say that God is the give of life, and as Psalm 127 states, that children are a blessing from the Lord, and to say it is a sin to have a child, ever. If you get pregnant, it is a blessing. Period. It is obvious that option 2 is licit. I think large families are amazing and wonderful. I want that to be very clear throught all of my conisderations.
So now we have two options. Our exploration of the first and preferable to Paul has led us to see clearly that the Kingdom of God as inagurated by Christ is not primarily expanded through birth, but through evangelism. That is the clear, dominant, emphasized call of the New Testment. Proclaim Christ! How beautiful are the feet of he who speads the Gospel! Yet I ask, are those the only two options? If I marry, am I now bound to as full a quiver as I can get? Cannot I not chose a middle path of some family, some ministry? I do not wrestle with this issue so that I can have fewer kids, more time, and more money to spend on my "pleasures". I am torn by this issue because I long to write, study and teach truth. I want to be involved in ministering to the world in a manner that isn't possible with 13 children, at least not until I was nearly 60!
Thus, is there no middle option for me, and for the many, many other women like me? Can I not devote one portion of life to family and another to the focused ministry which Paul would call single women to? Or since I am married, am I now bound to a law of procreation?
Ultimately, given the considerations of all four posts, I have come to the following "truths".
1 - The Kingdom of Christ, as instituted in this age, is NOT grown pirmarily through birth, but through evangelism, the harvesting of the fields ripened before us by those who were fruitful and multiplied.
2 - It is a legitimate option, one Paul even prefered, to forgo family and fertility in prefrence for the work of the kingdom, evangelism.
3 - However, some are indeed called to marriage and family life, as Paul stated in 1 Cor. 7:7, "But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that."
4 - Children are indeed a blessing from the Lord, the creator of life, and pregnancy ought always to be recieved with gratitude.
5 - By design, God has given us both inevitable choice in the process of creating life, as well as a natural, non-abortive method of contraception or family planning.
Given these, I must conclude that the issue of family planning is left up to the couple, according to their own personall calling and gifting from the Lord, allowed through non-abortive means of contraception. Personally, we would like to have 4 children, a family large enough to feel like a real family, yet still affordable and allowing for both Tommy and I to pursue further study and ministry outside the home. Tommy especially desires to leave engineering, attend seminary and enter into the ministry. This would be very difficult with many more children.
I still wrestle with the issue sterilization as a licit means of contraception. It just seems extreme, but I will save it for another post!
To continue with more on this topic, move on to Law and Truth.
It is obvious in this passage that Paul prefers the unmarried state to the married. I believe this is Paul's prefrence and not a mandate against marriage or a ranking of it as a 2nd class choice. Verses 6-7 seem to establish that he speaks out of his own personal calling and not as a commandment from the Lord. He is clear that it is not sin to marry. The contrary is assumed as well; it is not sin to stay single. It is not wrong for a woman to choose to focus on ministry, on harvesting the ripe fields of the nations with the Gospel of peace, instead of marriage which would include child bearing. Not only is it "not wrong" the Lord's apostle prefers it! If the Kingdom established by Christ, which we believers are now living in and to which we are called to serve, was expanded primarily through childbirth, Paul could not write this!
Paul states that he thinks it is preferable for the kingdom, for "the things of the Lord" (v. 34), to stay single and NOT have children. Yet he is clear in v. 7 that not everyone is called to singleness or given the grace to live it out, IOW gifted thus. So given the plain statements of Paul, I see to legitimate options for Christians thus far: 1 - Stay single and do NOT have any children. 2 - Get married and have as many children as God would give you. It is perposterous to my mind, to say that God is the give of life, and as Psalm 127 states, that children are a blessing from the Lord, and to say it is a sin to have a child, ever. If you get pregnant, it is a blessing. Period. It is obvious that option 2 is licit. I think large families are amazing and wonderful. I want that to be very clear throught all of my conisderations.
So now we have two options. Our exploration of the first and preferable to Paul has led us to see clearly that the Kingdom of God as inagurated by Christ is not primarily expanded through birth, but through evangelism. That is the clear, dominant, emphasized call of the New Testment. Proclaim Christ! How beautiful are the feet of he who speads the Gospel! Yet I ask, are those the only two options? If I marry, am I now bound to as full a quiver as I can get? Cannot I not chose a middle path of some family, some ministry? I do not wrestle with this issue so that I can have fewer kids, more time, and more money to spend on my "pleasures". I am torn by this issue because I long to write, study and teach truth. I want to be involved in ministering to the world in a manner that isn't possible with 13 children, at least not until I was nearly 60!
Thus, is there no middle option for me, and for the many, many other women like me? Can I not devote one portion of life to family and another to the focused ministry which Paul would call single women to? Or since I am married, am I now bound to a law of procreation?
Ultimately, given the considerations of all four posts, I have come to the following "truths".
1 - The Kingdom of Christ, as instituted in this age, is NOT grown pirmarily through birth, but through evangelism, the harvesting of the fields ripened before us by those who were fruitful and multiplied.
2 - It is a legitimate option, one Paul even prefered, to forgo family and fertility in prefrence for the work of the kingdom, evangelism.
3 - However, some are indeed called to marriage and family life, as Paul stated in 1 Cor. 7:7, "But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that."
4 - Children are indeed a blessing from the Lord, the creator of life, and pregnancy ought always to be recieved with gratitude.
5 - By design, God has given us both inevitable choice in the process of creating life, as well as a natural, non-abortive method of contraception or family planning.
Given these, I must conclude that the issue of family planning is left up to the couple, according to their own personall calling and gifting from the Lord, allowed through non-abortive means of contraception. Personally, we would like to have 4 children, a family large enough to feel like a real family, yet still affordable and allowing for both Tommy and I to pursue further study and ministry outside the home. Tommy especially desires to leave engineering, attend seminary and enter into the ministry. This would be very difficult with many more children.
I still wrestle with the issue sterilization as a licit means of contraception. It just seems extreme, but I will save it for another post!
To continue with more on this topic, move on to Law and Truth.
6 Comments:
At 6/24/2005 12:35 AM,
Hannah Im said…
Very well done! These are some of the same conclusions that I am coming to. Keep writing!
Oh, and I agree that sterilization does seem extreme especially when there are many other options for birth control.
At 6/24/2005 5:24 PM,
texashimalaya said…
Marla - thank you for the suggestion - I am just beginning to learn the ins and outs of blogging format and HTML. I appreciate your support!
I haven't really blogged about sterilization - just a sentance at the end of this post. It would make life easier for us once we feel that our humble quiver is full, as I have very irregular cycles that are difficult to chart accurately (hence baby 1 and 3 :-). We too know of a boy who is called "the one who got away"!
At 6/25/2005 10:47 AM,
Anonymous said…
Paul gives the option of remaining unmaried as an alternative to being married. He doesn't address children in this passage. In 1 Timothy 5:14 he exhorts "younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach."
At 6/27/2005 9:19 AM,
Elena LaVictoire said…
Hi Annie,
It seems to me that one could "witness" to hundreds or thousands of people over the lifetime, but you really have no guarantees, or necessarily any measure to know how many of those people you have touched, have come to Christ.
But with our own children, we have a unique opportunity to mold them, shape them, form them into Godly offspring in a way that we just won't have in any other form.
If you want to study, if you want to minister and teach truth, I submit to you that you will have no finer opportunity to do that than with your own children!
Additionally, there are opportunities to minister with a family! My children and I last year spent time working at a soup kitchen. My youngest was 5 and she wore an apron and cleared tables and served trays. My husband has taken our older boys to do construction projects for the elderly and needy. One year the whole family worked for Meals on Wheels, delivering Christmas dinner to shut ins on Christmas Day so that the regular workers could have the day off. You have to be more creative doing it as a family but it can be done.
Further, there is absolutely no guarantee that you will be blessed with 13 children, or that all of the children you bear will reach adulthood. Fertility is a delicate balance and just because you are fertile now doesn't mean that you will be next year or in 5 years. Children die, miscarriages and stillbirth happen. Having children and the ability to bear them is a gift that too many take for granted.
I don't see any request or command in scriptures for married women with children to take up ministry outside of the home. On the other hand, I DO see one for older women in Titus 2. So perhaps these years of ministering to your own family, studying and teaching them is the preparation for the life of the Titus 2 woman. There's nothing wrong to be starting an outside ministry at 60 - and 60 really isn't that old, although I guess it seems that way when you're in your 20s!
Elena
Ooops, before I forget -
As for sterilization - it's an abomination in my opninion and I don't know how anyone who considers their bodies to be a temple of the Holy Spirit could justify deliberately maming health body parts.
At 6/27/2005 2:19 PM,
texashimalaya said…
Elena - I whole heartedly agree with you concerning the incredible opportunity to teach and shape our own children! Thank you for bringing that point out clearly. I also strongly affirm what you say about combining family and ministry, whether you have 0,1,3,6, or 12 children! Our lives are not to be compartmentaluzed, but an integrated whole where each aspect compliments and enriches the other. I also heartily agree that we ought not take our fertility for granted each month, each year, that is part of why I am leaning more and more away from sterilization as an option for us.
You are also right that our later years in life are a time especially ripe for ministries, as we are finished with childbearing for sure and our children are grown and hopefully we will have more life wisdom. Concerning your statement, "I don't see any request or command in scriptures for married women with children to take up ministry outside of the home", I ask, is there any command or request for people to paint? For people to decorate their homes? Are these things therefore wrong or a waste of time since they are not directly commanded?
I hope you will be able to read the post "Law and Truth". If I remember from Bonnie's blog, you are Catholic and I would love to hear a Catholic based response to those ideas! Thank you for visiting the blog!
Annie
At 6/27/2005 8:37 PM,
Elena LaVictoire said…
Greetings Annie,
A couple of things:
Our lives are not to be compartmentaluzed, but an integrated whole where each aspect compliments and enriches the other.
Which is not to day that there aren't "Seaons" of our life. For example this year I have a newwborn to the soup kitchen is probably out for us this summer. It's just not the right "season" for us. It might mean that the older boys go on their own, because it is the right season for them to be more independent. Not everything can happen in every family all the time.
Concerning your statement, "I don't see any request or command in scriptures for married women with children to take up ministry outside of the home", I ask, is there any command or request for people to paint? For people to decorate their homes? Are these things therefore wrong or a waste of time since they are not directly commanded?
They aren't wrong, they're just not "required." What is required of wives and mothers is focused on home. I'm sure you're familiar with Proverbs 31. Everything that mother does is centered on her family and for the good of her family. The book of Sirach also says: "Like the sun rising over the mountans of the Lord is the beauty of a good wife in a well-kept house." --Sirach 26:21 So it's not wrong to paint, or write, or anything else, as long as the primary focus for the woman in the vocation of marriage and motherhood is the home and family.
I hope you will be able to read the post "Law and Truth". If I remember from Bonnie's blog, you are Catholic and I would love to hear a Catholic based response to those ideas! Thank you for visiting the blog!
Yep, I'm Bonnie's Catholic friend! I perused "Law and Truth."
I'll give it a deeper look tomorrow.
It occurs to me though that we are images of God, and therfore should to discern as God discerns. His attitude towards children is always positive and children are always considered a blessing. I think in general, unless there is a grave or serious reason to postpone or avoid pregnancy, couples should try to cultivate that attitude.
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