Chief Executive Mom

Visit me at my new website - anniecrawford.com An exerpt from an email I recently wrote . . .

"I agree that having children is the most extrodinary blessing
I have known -participating in creating and nurturing an
eternal soul is an amazing priviledge.

It is also terrifying. I personally have a bit of baggage I have
had to deal with in life - who doesn't - loss at a young age
that caused me to cage up my heart in thick walls of
protection. Children have a way of violently tearing those
walls down and stealing your love. I have had to learn
totally anew how to overcome deep fear and trust the
Lord. A baby is so vulnerable and you can't imagine how
you would cope with her loss or suffering. I recently read
from L'Engle something that, for me, expressed why
the risk is worth it -

Capetenakis says, "One must really be brave to choose
love or writing as one's guides, because they may lead
one to the space in which the meaning of our life is hidden -
and who can say that this space may not be the land of
death." Even to the Christian, this land of death is dark
and frightening. No matter how deep the faith, we each
have to walk the lonesome valley . . . we are tempted to
try to avoid not only our own suffering but also that of
our fellow human beings, the suffering of the world, which
is part of our own suffering. But if we draw back from it
(and we are free to do so) Kaftka reminds us that "it may
be that this very holding back is the one evil you could have
avoided."