Monday, July 25, 2005
Blogging is making me fat
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Yes, I know I am pregnant and supposed to gain weight, but not this quickly. Though I still exercise about 30-60 min. 5-6 times a week, my derriere is placed firmly in my computer chair a fair bit more than it was. All the time I previously spent cleaning my house vigorously or working in the garden is now spent sitting, not that the attention given my mind is wasted. I suppose I may have to give up my big slice of Key Lime Pie every night to compensate.
Now if only I could find device to take my thoughts and blog them for me, without having to be at the computer. I was just in the shower, where I seem to have some of my best thoughts (and Tommy and I our best conversations). I always rush through my showers because they feel like a colossal waste of time. So many steps just to get everywhere clean, then moisturized, then to brush and gel my hair (very frizzy and overly curly otherwise). I will have these wonderful thoughts while my hands are busy, but they just then fly away, unanchored to any paper or type, mostly forgotten forever, not shared. Inevitably the inspiration is gone once I make it to paper or keypad. The elliptical is much better that way, at least I can read or pause to jot down an idea. Perhaps I could install a waterproof writing board of some kind in the shower . . . In addition, if I am going to be doing something so impractical as showering, I would rather be doing it with my girls, for then it gains great value. Anytime with them is worth loosing a thought or two for!
All this led me to think, perhaps I ought to pray in the shower instead of just musing. That is not wasted time, and my thoughts are not lost, but given to the One who matters. So I today pondered on why I prefer thinking to praying, and it really is because I am so unworthy to pray! As soon as I seek to pray, I am flooded with how much I have no right and all the things I ought to confess and repent over, nay it feels that I must atone for, before I have any right to audience before the King. Don't worry, I know that is what the cross is for. I am glad that I may be daily stunned by the grace given to me in His precious blood. Indeed, it takes a colossal act of childlike faith to claim it as mine.
Now if only I could find device to take my thoughts and blog them for me, without having to be at the computer. I was just in the shower, where I seem to have some of my best thoughts (and Tommy and I our best conversations). I always rush through my showers because they feel like a colossal waste of time. So many steps just to get everywhere clean, then moisturized, then to brush and gel my hair (very frizzy and overly curly otherwise). I will have these wonderful thoughts while my hands are busy, but they just then fly away, unanchored to any paper or type, mostly forgotten forever, not shared. Inevitably the inspiration is gone once I make it to paper or keypad. The elliptical is much better that way, at least I can read or pause to jot down an idea. Perhaps I could install a waterproof writing board of some kind in the shower . . . In addition, if I am going to be doing something so impractical as showering, I would rather be doing it with my girls, for then it gains great value. Anytime with them is worth loosing a thought or two for!
All this led me to think, perhaps I ought to pray in the shower instead of just musing. That is not wasted time, and my thoughts are not lost, but given to the One who matters. So I today pondered on why I prefer thinking to praying, and it really is because I am so unworthy to pray! As soon as I seek to pray, I am flooded with how much I have no right and all the things I ought to confess and repent over, nay it feels that I must atone for, before I have any right to audience before the King. Don't worry, I know that is what the cross is for. I am glad that I may be daily stunned by the grace given to me in His precious blood. Indeed, it takes a colossal act of childlike faith to claim it as mine.
1 Comments:
At 7/27/2005 11:10 PM,
Anonymous said…
I loved your ending sentences about preferring thinking to praying. I have come to realize exactly the same thing, that I hide out in my thoughts instead of coming to God in prayer because it brings a flood of things I ought to confess and the memory of how little I've been praying (so it turns into a cycle). I've been asking God lately to help me not shy away from short prayers throughout the day, so I can develop more of a habit of talking to Him as a friend. But I'm hampered by the thought of how unworthy I am to be asking for yet more chances from God. It truly does take an abandonment of self and childlike faith to accept His forgiveness.
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